I am good at a lot of things. Even on my darkest days, I know there are things I am good at. On those days I might not be able to say I am GREAT at them, but I’m good…mediocre at best.
But really, I have had compliments on my talents and even a two year Theatre scholarship without even auditioning. The College Director saw my show and not knowing how to contact me sent a letter to my high school offering me a full two-year scholarship, so I know for a fact that in my high school musical production of Fiddler On The Roof, I played one heck of a Hodel!
You know what I am not good at… following through.
“Let’s hang out sometime!” – The heart is willing but goodbye old friend, it was nice while it lasted.
“I’m going to fix these pants for my son.” – Never going to happen.
“I’ll message you with the details.” – How about tomorrow after never.
“I’m going to organize this whole room!” – After I take this nap for 2 months.
“I’m going to write in my blog.” – 16 months later…
Yeah, following through is not a strong suit. If it’s really time sensitive or it’s for a performance, sure, then it will happen…barely. I have always been a procrastinator but at some point, it just went way, WAY past that. Truthfully, I want to do everything I say I’m going to do and give it a 100% however, My engine is usually running on cheaper fuel that sometimes leaves me empty for most of my day.
So why all these mutterings? And why now? Well, I was thinking about jumping on this blog the other day because I knew it had been a while. Which happened to be an understatement!
It’s been sixteen months since my last post! How did I let sixteen months pass by? I mean, I knew it had been long when I couldn’t even remember what my blog was called, but seriously, sixteen months? And do you know what was the worst part about dusting off this poor old blog? To see how many drafts I had from sixteen months ago?
I’m not sure anyone, not than anyone reads this but still, I don’t think anyone would believe me when I say I looked at my drafts and saw I had 46, that’s right 46 posts that I never finished! Talk about lack of follow through. I feel there should be a reward for my lack of follow through. Maybe it was good I was off for sixteen months because who knows how many unfinished drafts would be sitting there waiting for me if I came on here regularly. I could’ve had a book made of unfinished blog posts. The half written ramblings of a mad women. “Where was she going with that idea?” “I have no idea, she never finished.”
Well, enough of that. On to the point. I want to finish things. Not just necessary things I have to finish, but things that I want to do. I started this blog for a reason and I would like to add to it. Make it something people could connect to. I make no promises because I know that I can’t do promises, it only leads to heartbreak, but I would like write more. I would like to express more. Maybe I’ll even let on when I finish one of those 46 drafts. As for now. I’m off.